Apparently today's old action stars don't have expiration dates like our stars of the solid gold 70s cinema like Steve Mcqueen, Robert Mitchum, and Charles Bronson.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! STOP THE INSANITY ALREADY AND JUST PUT THESE OLD GUYS TO PASTURE !
However, the big studio heads who think they know more than we do think we still enjoy watching these Grumpy Old Action Men who are just into it to retain thier AARP benefits.
HMMM.........something sure smells BEN GAY here!
In many ways, The Last Stand
plays out like a re-hashing to Clint Eastwood's 1973 cowboy classic High Plains Drifter . The only difference is , in High Plains Drifter our famed Man With No Name has to earn the respect and confidence of the townspeople of Bodie after their townspeople test him.
He therefore proves his loyalty and strength and therefore helps the town people fight off an invading gang of bandits who come galloping into town
. In The Last Stand , Ray (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a Sherrif trying to enjoy the last few moments of his career until Mr Mad Mexican Cartel Boss comes escaping out of prison with his Henchman waiting for him in Sommerton..
Who's there to greet them? Well nothing but the baddest cast of Mad Max rejects I've ever seen . I mean look at these freaks they look like are out on a bug hunt from Tremors .
Honestly what is up with all of this senseless killing without their being any justification behind it. What just because he's a Cartel Drug dealer we should just..........rat him out of town? YEAH RIGHT! An invitation with a Mexican gang member just beacuse you hate their guts is an invitation to death which hardly makes me want to swallow this tripe.
In High Plains Drifter we are are treated to a exciting conclusion as the townspeople sit all perched and hidden like snipers taking out the invaders one by one and even painting the town red to symbolizing the impending doom that awaits them.
They have more to gain by defending themselves from those that wish to wipe out the one who put them in jail.
To be quite honest Arnold Scwarzenneger is at that age where he is hard to take serious anymore as an action hero.
Let's face it he lost 7 good years of more potential good action flicks by trying to be the Next Action Political Hero. Dumb call if you ask me. Didn't he learn anything from his friend Jessie Ventura that Politics and Acting don't mix. He had a good thing in the past he should have just rode with that.
Honestly this Arnold movie is about as exciting now as Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan wrestling, strutting, and cutting to the Jailhouse Fogie Rock...........WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOPIE A DOO!
The humor is bland , Arnold ain't got anything left in his gastank, and compared to his other Action Chart Toppers this one actually makes Last Action Hero look good.
Take my advice everyone if you want to see slick veteran actors in their prime pull off some amazing acting in their old age check out John Wayne in The Shootist
and Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven and Gran Torino. At least with those movies their characters are in a fight against time and a fight for truth and justice who die honorably at the end .
Yeah Arnold is back but the question is do we really care anymore? Not me. He had his time in the sun and now its time to step down honorably for he has nothing more to give.
MOVIE RATING: 0/5
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