ROSEANNE BARR VS GEORGE ZIMMERMAN'S PARENTS

It appears TV's most bitchiest Mom in Sitcom History, Roseanne, had some things to share on Twitter  that have George Zimmerna's parents fleeing for cover like Dorothy running from the tornado in Wizard Of OZ.



Aye Caraumba, she is so uncomfortable to watch.  Maybe Roseanne and George Zimmerman ought to have a sumo match to settle their differences.

Now George Zimmerman's parents are on the move with a lawsuit claiming that Barr single handedly tweeted his address to 110,000 to incite lynch mob to descend on the family's home. 

Mob Outside the Zimmerman's home

Wow, our first ever multi-racially incited mob lynching.  Aww, America, what will we come up with next.

Roseanne wasn't the first to think of this.  In fact, Director Spike Lee tweeted the Zimmerman's address only to get it wrong and ended up tweeting the address of David and Elaine McClain. Well, just like his movie he directed he Did The Right Thing and paid the couple $10,000 in a settlement. 

and this is who you want as your mob Lynch Leader? The very same fellow who does racist portrayals of other races in his films.  .....OKIE DOKE!

The Zimmerman's are out for blood asking for a settlement of $15,000 from fleeing for their life from every News Station in Alphabetical Order  from

TO 

KZRO

AWWW GOD NO!! It's  Night of the Living Networks

Roseanne however doesn't feel apologetic and as matter of fact if George Zimmerman is still walking she'd do it again, " If Zimmerman isn't arrested I’ll rt his address again - maybe go 2 his house myself."

Roseanne Commands a Militant Faction knee deep in Floridian territory. Wielding Heavy Machine Guns & Explosives, She Either Fights on the Front Line, or Conducts High Risk Commando Sabotage Missions Deep in Enemy Territory. I think Roseanne has been sent in by the government to discredit those who question authority by appearing as a stoned, paranoid old women.

David Heil, a personal injury lawyer, who is representing the Zimmerman's claim Barr had violated Twitter's terms of service that state users "may not publish or post other people's private and confidential information," 

including street addresses".

The lawsuit also states the Zimmerman's , "suffered emotional pain and suffering, mental anguish, loss of the capacity for the enjoyment of life, incurred additional living expenses due to the inability to live in their home and have suffered a loss in value of their home," according to the complaint. "These losses are permanent and continuing in nature."

Honestly, how the hell does Roseanne compute sustainability when she's nuttier  than squirrel shit? 

ZACK GALIFIANAKIS VS PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

Zack Galifianakis, co-star of The Hangover and Host of Funny or Die's newest show Between Two Ferns, decided to have President Barack Obama on the program to promote his Affordable Care Act plan.

Yes that makes us all feel so much better. 

When Galifianakis asked Obama "What's it feel like to be the last black president?" Obama replied "Seriously, what's it like to be the last one who ever talks to a president?" 

Whatever. Like their isn't another one of you ready to be stamped out of the political factory. 

Galifianakis then came back with another question wondering if it must stink not to be able to run three times.Obama replied with, It's a good idea, if I ran a third time it would sort of be like the Third Hangover movie". 

If there was another Presidency the movie title of that would be called: 

When Galifianakis asked him why  he planned on building his Presidential Library in Kenya , Obama replied with "Zack, that is a ridiculous question.

SO...an Obama Presidential Library in Kenya.

Hmm, odd I don't remember voting in a tiki hut while all the while evading gun fire to get there because of a lack of a police force.


Although Galifianakis nailed Obama to the wall  arguing how he never produced his birth certificate Obama's only response was , "Where is your birth certificate?"

Dude you are a enigma.

Galifianaki went deeper wanting to know why Obama would want his son to play basketball out of fear of growing up to being a big dork like him.  Obama's quick response was , "ask my wife if you think I am a dork"

Do we think you are a dork?

When Galifianikis asked if he was here to plug something, Obama quickly fired back with , "Yeah have you heard of the Affordable Health Care Act?" .  Galifianakis chuckled and said , "Yeah I heard , that's the thing that doesn't work"

If the healthcare system is already broke, break it in some more and be sure to spread a little on the side for the rest of you and your crooked friends.

However, Obama is quite adamant on how the Affordable Care Act is so cool that young kids can be able to afford a health care plan for the same price as paying a cell phone bill

NAW....I still don't get you.  But....OK!

You can view the rest of this travesty here

CHARLIE SHEEN VS ANGER MANAGEMENT CAST

Apparently Charlie Seen has gone MIA for the last several days on the set of Anger Management


Hmm gee, I wonder why.  Possible reasons include:

#1. BOOBS

#2 - COKE

#3 - SNIFFING COKE ON BOOBS

Honestly, is there anyone in the Porn Animal Kingdom he hasn't bedded yet? 

Well while Charlie Sheen is busy perfecting the world's best orgasm his absence has forced Lionsgate Production to push back production of Anger Management farther than expected

Possible stand-ins for Charlie Sheen could include:

Mercer Morrision

and Balthazar Getty

Charlie Sheen's publicist, Jeff Ballard, denies that the show had even had to shoot around the actor , "We did not shoot last week because another member of the cast was sick. Charlie is always ready , willing, and able to shoot Anger Management and looks forward to returning".

However, let's not forget that Charlie Sheen has dealt with substance abuse problems and was famously fired from Two and Half Men .  The absence has left many study executive if we can even perform up to 100 episodes of television.

Performing up to par on set these days....probably no.  However, achieving the highest score in sexual pole position that's a DEFINITE YES!

Many of the cast members complain of his erratic behavior which could be due to recent health issues involving a vocal cord problem.

Possible reasons for the vocal cord could include

SHOUTING OUT AT THE DEVIL ONCE TOO MANY TIMES also known as a SORE-GASM

However, this isn't the first time Charlie has had a scrap or two with the Anger Management cast. Actress Selma Blair, who played Charlie Sheen's love interest was dismissed from the show in which Sheen called her a "c**t".  The two believe to have had a failing out due to Blair questioning Sheen's work ethic.

A work ethic that includes banging on the drum all day

COME ON EVERYONE YOU KNOW THE WORDS....SING ALONG!

There is a lot RIDING and I mean RIDING on Sheen's involvement and once Charlie Sheen is done riding the mechanical bull  he should realize the show is expected to earn close $350 million to $500 million in generate revenue.  That is not including the extra $800 million dollars it will  generate from licensing fees, international sales, and syndication.

NOT BAD for someone whom after being fired by  CBS still roams the streets of Hollywood with a suitcase full of porn and cocaine; believing he is "winning". 

BECAUSE AFTER ALL....

HE"S WILD THING! 

GAWKER.COM VS QUENTIN TARANTINO

Apparently Gawker.com has been sniffing in Mr. Pink's private sock drawer way too many times and secretly got a hold of Tarantino's unfinished script titled Hateful Eight

The Gawker.com spokesperson had this to say

"Aww....well I wasn't going to do nothing wrong"

http://youtu.be/UOO8TjKyGr4?t=2m59s

Tarantino is now loaded up and his guns are a blazing as he prepares to sue Gawker for Copyright Infringement in claiming the website blog obtained the unauthorized 146 page titled "Here is the leaked script to Quentin Tarantino's Hateful Eight Script"

INSERT COIN for Free Kick Me shot. 

Apparently being the first website to publicly loot all filmmaker's innermost treasures means more to Gawker.com that they would publicly risk finanical suicide in the process

Tarantino's Response 

http://youtu.be/u7ER_q0B1-I?t=3m14s

The Fate of Gawker.com (OOOH, NO!)

http://youtu.be/z2jPCQbl0Lc?t=2s

That's like slitting your own wrist the Godfather way

"AYE!" 

However in Gawker's defense they claim that merely reading a screenplay is by no means a direct copyright infringing act

Awww....you guys sniffing old news print or something.  

Let's not forget who the real cat burglars are

Wait...that's not all.  In a effort to make Gawker.com look like computer literate fools , Tarantino's lawyers claimed not only did they post the script but encourage online viewers to download it with direct links. 

Gawker.com's defense:

"You have no proof ...they are incapable of saving anything online"

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT"

IF ANYTHING...

They either CTRL C'D

Adobed

or CUT, COPY, and PASTED that ass 

AWWW..Gawker.com.  Not playing with a full computer literate deck are we. 

FS STUDIO'S XMAS CLASSICS : NATIONAL LAMPOON'S XMAS VACATION

Ever since the Vacation trilogy was born in 1983 with Vactation, Clark Griswold has become the iconic figure of an endearing, lovable husband and father to all.  He devises and promises his family the best  Vacation from trilogy after trilogy only for the experience to ensue in total and utter chaos for all.

Hey that is what makes him a flawed character that any other husband and father can relate to.  He has a loyal wife who loves him no matter what kind of mess he gets into.  However his kids go along for the ride not expecting much from Dad and just hope he doesn't make a fool out of himself or anybody.

National Lampoon's Xmas Vacation takes  a slight detour from the last two Vacation films but the plot is still the same.  Instead of the Griswolds going on a road or plane trip, they are home for the holidays entertaining their relatives.  I just can't get enough of the wonderful ebb and flow of all the pent up anxieties, resentments, and verbal exchanges that take places between the two in-laws and the trailer park clan who comes to crash the party.  In a way it kind of reminds me of Xmas Eve on my Dad's side of the family.  

The reason Xmas Vacation works is that because it takes common situations and conflicts that arise in families and exploits them to outrageous lengths.  In everyone's family there is always going to be Grandparents, Aunts, Parents, who eat, sleep, snore, and complain too much.

There's always going to be a Cousin Eddie whose seen as a black sheep of the family. He latches onto Clark with his big bear claws for food, money, presents and doesn't know his ass from a proper waste disposal spot. If there ever was a big country cousin who belches, burps, scratches his butt, and asks you to save the neck for him it is Cousin Eddy.

"Merry Xmas! Shitter was full!"

Finally, you're going to have elderly Great Grandparents or Grandparents who get easily confused, forgets, and gets things misplaced or out of order.  All of what makes us pull our hair out about our extended families is encompassed in this timeless holiday classic.

One of the memorable scenes  in the film is Clark's never ending attempts to light up the neighborhood by displaying Christmas lights all over his house.

His first attempts fail, his In-Laws laugh at his lunacy,  and the fate of his illuminated Christmas Castle lies at the hands of his wife.  Whereas some people get by  implementing  the most cost effective way to light up their house, Clark over does it by decorating every nook and cranny of the house with enough electricity to bring down a city's power grid.

 In a glorious Hallelujah celebration, everyone from Clark's parents to Eddie's Dog revels in his new found glory whereas the next door neighbor sulks in infamy about the stain in her carpet.

The biggest pops  occur during Clark's dream pool sequence that results in a sexual fantasy with a certain lingerie sales associate.

"My god,  why do I keep thinking about old mail issues of Stephanie Seymour in Victoria Secret magazine when ever I think of her"

Who could not forget Clark trying to upstage his family by promising the fastest sled only to be dashing through the snow on a sled ride from hell.

Finally , the unforgettable scene where the family cowers in fear running from the likes of all of things....a squirrel.

Like with all Vacation movie, there is always someone who acts as the thorn in Clark's spine and that swine in this edition is Frank Shirley played by Brian Murray.

When he huffs and puff and blows all the company bonuses away , Clark responds in a humorous tirade lambasting his boss all the while conducting some home remodeling of his own.  Even though Brian Murray's screen time is limited he makes a big impact as a cranky, snot-nosed prick who counts his own profits and spits on his employee's shoes.

One of the great tragic Hollywood stories is the fact that Chevy Chase has faded from the movie scene.  I mean he's a great comic and his timing, and his mannerisms in this movie is impeccable.  However, it's his unwillingness to not step into more dramatic roles like Bill Murray that has kept us from seeing more potential classics like this one.

Christmas Vacation will always be a timeless holiday classic for those who want a more adult spin to their holiday cheer. And Clark's delusions of grandeur to re-create the Christmas's of old with his family but failing miserably is something we all can relate to.  There's no denying the impact Christmas Vacation has had during the Holidays with tens of thousands posting online videos to earn the coveted bragging rights to re-creating their own Griswald style light display.

JOE'S FAVORTIE MUSIC TRACK FROM THE FILM 

"Can't see the line can you Russ?"  "NO! "

 This was a tough one. Originally I was going to go with the Xmas Vacation theme song but I keep going back to Bing because of the Stephanie Seymour wanna-be bathing beauty.  So in honor of the Lingerie Sales Associate I give you this . 

FS STUDIO'S XMAS CLASSICS : HOME ALONE 2: LOST IN NEW YORK

Home Alone 2 is a great example of how to make a great sequel if the same cast, and same plot story line are present.  It doesn't matter where the movie takes place as long as the magic of the first one is present.  Home Alone became a holiday hit  with kids because it tapped into every kid's wishes from being independent from your parents, to do and say what you want, to the power of defending yourself in every cruel way possible to those who are up to no good.  Even though this formula is copied for a second time round , it's effect is still well achieved.  Honestly, what kid would not want to take a dream vacation on their parents dime if they could.

The film adds a nice plot twist at the beginning in showing how Kevin ended up in New York City.  An alarm clock fails, setting off a similar chain of events that sends the McCallister clan into  a hurried frenzy off to the airport.  When Kevin's mom think's she's misplaced him again, out pops up Kevin to offer a brief sigh of relief.  It's at that moment that we think all is well with the world with Kevin being reunited with his family.  However, by fooling Kevin into thinking he's following whom he believes is his father, hops on the wrong flight, ends up in NYC  thus  opening  up the door to a whole new set of circumstances utilizing the same magic of the first.

Instead of Kevin uncovering his brother's allowance, he's got access to Mom and Dad's piggy bank and is living it up with class and style in New York City.  Whether it's sightseeing around town, buying  fireworks,  to checking into a five star hotel, to ordering tasty treats it seems like the skies the limit.   When things are about to look up for Kevin, a whole new set of unfortunate circumstances arise that further take Kevin away from the comforts of easy living to the mean streets of New York City where poverty, crime, and despair roam rampant.

First, the credit card he checked into the hotel with  was not his.  Second, he's now a fugitive of the law.  Third, the Sticky Bandits are hot on his trail.  So although it offers the same plot of the first,  Kevin's character does do some soul searching when he encounters a woman who is in a much worse predicate than he is.  In another heartfelt conversation that may not have been as powerful as the one he had with Roberts Blossom it's still effective and sends a good message.

 It is then Kevin learns to not always think about himself and what makes him happy  but  to be more compassionate to thoughts and feeling of others.

The finale has him  not defending his house, but defending himself and the rights, liberties, and privileges for all ill-stricken children during Xmas when he squares off against the Sticky Bandits.  The same tricks, gags, and stunts are used but are heightened more to elevate the laugh factor.

In the end, it shows that you can create the same plot circumstances as the original  to create another moving character experience as Kevin takes his first step from childhood to early adult.   It becomes another heartfelt Xmas classic full of hope, love, and action-packed slapstick joy for the whole family.  So it's not original but hey it's a Xmas movie, and during Xmas we need films that have warm messages for all growing kids to be kind, considerate, and compassionate to those less fortunate during the holidays .

JOE'S FAVORITE TRACK FROM FILM: