Friday, May 30, 2014

A Introduction to Screenwriting

In his heyday, Peter Sellers was known as "the man of a thousand faces".  



Hrundi V Bakshi 



Dr. Fu Manchu


Inspector Clouseau


The inspiration from his iconic character Inspector Clouseau was modeled after a box of matches depicting Captain Matthew Webb , who became the first person to ever swim the English Channel in 1875. 





 Eighty-Eight years later,  captivated movie audiences were introduced to The Pink Panther, a sophisticated comedy about a charming, sweet-talking,  daring jewel thief Sir Charles Litton (David Nevin) who has eye's set on the location of Princess Dahla's jewel, "The Pink Panther".  However, hot on Sir Charles Lytton's  tail is the bumbling French Detective Inspector Clouseau.  



Peters Sellers as Inspector Clouseau in The 1976 film "The Pink Panther Strikes Again" 


Never has a Hollywood comedic actor tried so hard at working with weak material to be violently funny.  In the end , we were introduced to an iconic character who bumps into things, stumbling blindly over door steps and edges of rugs. He walks into his own bedroom clueless to the fact that the thief is right under his feet. (It so happens to be his wife's lover, Sir Charles Litton, who is calmly waiting there with a couple of glasses of champagne waiting for his cue to exit). 

Movie reviewer, Irv Slifkin, said one of the most ever changing comedic talents in the 1960s was Peter Sellers who could" change like a chameleon throughout the era, dazzling audiences".  




Dr. Strangelove




Dr. Ahmed El Kabir


Dr. Fritz Fassbender

Actor David Schwimmer is another whose comedic approach was influenced by Sellers stated, "he could do anything from Dr. Strangelove, Inspector Clouseau, Hrundi V Bakshi, to Fu Man Chu".  Even Peter Seller's role on the BBC hit show The Goon Show inspired a whole new generation of comedians playing multiple characters from Monty Python, to Spinal Tap, to Sacha Baron Cohen.  



Monty Python


Spinal Tap 


Sacha Baron's Cohen's various movie characters inspired by the comedic stylings of Peter Sellers 

The examples above  shows that the  power of film is indisputable, captivating audiences when you have a hilarious comedy matched with a brilliant comedic actor working hand in hand.  Anything less than that is un-entertaining to the eyes and ears.  Once the build up of big media marketing campaigns go into effect,  we all want so badly to watch.  


The Original Star Wars 1977- One of the big media blockbusters alongside Jaws that started it all. 



As Pauline Kael, author of For Keeps: 30 Years at the movies quotes:

“A good movie can take you out of your dull funk and the hopelessness that so often goes with slipping into a theatre; a good movie can make you feel alive again, in contact, not just lost in another city. Good movies make you care, make you believe in possibilities again. If somewhere in the Hollywood-entertainment world someone has managed to break through with something that speaks to you, then it isn't all corruption. The movie doesn't have to be great; it can be stupid and empty and you can still have the joy of a good performance, or the joy in just a good line. An actor’s scowl, a small subversive gesture, a dirty remark that someone tosses off with a mock-innocent face, and the world makes a little bit of sense. Sitting there alone or painfully alone because those with you do not react as you do, you know there must be others perhaps in this very theatre or in this city, surely in other theatres in other cities, now, in the past or future, who react as you do. And because movies are the most total and encompassing art form we have, these reactions can seem the most personal and, maybe the most important, imaginable. The romance of movies is not just in those stories and those people on the screen but in the adolescent dream of meeting others who feel as you do about what you’ve seen. You do meet them, of course, and you know each other at once because you talk less about good movies than about what you love in bad movies.” 

Movies are watched by all from your lower to middle class all the way up to your local politicians and  The President.  No wonder films have their firm grasp on us all.  When Howard The Duck debuted in theater's August 1st, 1986 due to it's poor performance at the box office stateside the film's title was changed from "Howard The Duck" to "Howard: A New Breed of Hero" for it's release in non-US territories in the UK and Austria. 


Howard: A New Breed of Hero (1986)



Top Gun (1986)

In contrast,  riding the wave of   Top Gun's skyrocketing box office numbers that very same year, the US Navy set up recruiting booths outside theaters to catch fans of the film leaving the building.  As a result, they had the highest number of  applications of men and women joining the United States Naval Service service in years.  



US Navy 1987 Recruitment video made right after the box office success of Top Gun



If you're reading this, chances are you among the chosen few who wish to join the ranks of the cinema storytellers and write a movie.  If you hope to break into the movie business you will need imagination, talent, skill, determination, and persistence. In order to be seen you should produce at least one or more screenplays of outstanding quality.  These must be complete screenplays and not just simple story concepts and five page pitches.  


Shooting Script for the 1980 film The Blues Brothers


The focus of these screenplay blogs is on writing feature films from 90 to 120 minutes. Now if you're focus is on writing for television , then I suggest consulting other research material. The same holds true f or writing animated films for those particular films are produced in house by a film studio.  This particular guide is for those wishing to write a spec screenplay , which is a screenplay that you are writing out of your own creative free will in the hopes that some movie studio or production company will pick it up.  Spec is short for "speculation" which is a informal noun to describe an action one does in the hopes of success. 


Coming up next
FILM: A VISUAL MEDIUM

"Until next time this is Joe Krueger, of the Filmmakers Studio, and we'll see you at the movies" 
- Joe Krueger, Director of the Filmmakers Studio
www.filmmakersstudio.com

CELEBRATING THE SOUNDTRACKS OF MY LIFE:  TERMINATOR (1984) - INTRO














Wednesday, March 12, 2014

ROSEANNE BARR VS GEORGE ZIMMERMAN'S PARENTS

It appears TV's most bitchiest Mom in Sitcom History, Roseanne, had some things to share on Twitter  that have George Zimmerna's parents fleeing for cover like Dorothy running from the tornado in Wizard Of OZ.



Aye Caraumba, she is so uncomfortable to watch.  Maybe Roseanne and George Zimmerman ought to have a sumo match to settle their differences.

Now George Zimmerman's parents are on the move with a lawsuit claiming that Barr single handedly tweeted his address to 110,000 to incite lynch mob to descend on the family's home. 


Wow, our first ever multi-racially incited mob lynching.  Aww, America, what will we come up with next.

Roseanne wasn't the first to think of this.  In fact, Director Spike Lee tweeted the Zimmerman's address only to get it wrong and ended up tweeting the address of David and Elaine McClain. Well, just like his movie he directed he Did The Right Thing and paid the couple $10,000 in a settlement. 


and this is who you want as your mob Lynch Leader? The very same fellow who does racist portrayals of other races in his films.  .....OKIE DOKE!

The Zimmerman's are out for blood asking for a settlement of $15,000 from fleeing for their life from every News Station in Alphabetical Order  from


TO 

KZRO

AWWW GOD NO!! It's  Night of the Living Networks

Roseanne however doesn't feel apologetic and as matter of fact if George Zimmerman is still walking she'd do it again, " If Zimmerman isn't arrested I’ll rt his address again - maybe go 2 his house myself."


Roseanne Commands a Militant Faction knee deep in Floridian territory. Wielding Heavy Machine Guns & Explosives, She Either Fights on the Front Line, or Conducts High Risk Commando Sabotage Missions Deep in Enemy Territory. I think Roseanne has been sent in by the government to discredit those who question authority by appearing as a stoned, paranoid old women.

David Heil, a personal injury lawyer, who is representing the Zimmerman's claim Barr had violated Twitter's terms of service that state users "may not publish or post other people's private and confidential information," 
including street addresses".

The lawsuit also states the Zimmerman's , "suffered emotional pain and suffering, mental anguish, loss of the capacity for the enjoyment of life, incurred additional living expenses due to the inability to live in their home and have suffered a loss in value of their home," according to the complaint. "These losses are permanent and continuing in nature."


Honestly, how the hell does Roseanne compute sustainability when she's nuttier  than squirrel shit? 








Tuesday, March 11, 2014

ZACK GALIFIANAKIS VS PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

Zack Galifianakis, co-star of The Hangover and Host of Funny or Die's newest show Between Two Ferns, decided to have President Barack Obama on the program to promote his Affordable Care Act plan.


Yes that makes us all feel so much better. 

When Galifianakis asked Obama "What's it feel like to be the last black president?" Obama replied "Seriously, what's it like to be the last one who ever talks to a president?" 


Whatever. Like their isn't another one of you ready to be stamped out of the political factory. 

Galifianakis then came back with another question wondering if it must stink not to be able to run three times.Obama replied with, It's a good idea, if I ran a third time it would sort of be like the Third Hangover movie". 

If there was another Presidency the movie title of that would be called: 



When Galifianakis asked him why  he planned on building his Presidential Library in Kenya , Obama replied with "Zack, that is a ridiculous question.



SO...an Obama Presidential Library in Kenya.

Hmm, odd I don't remember voting in a tiki hut while all the while evading gun fire to get there because of a lack of a police force.


Although Galifianakis nailed Obama to the wall  arguing how he never produced his birth certificate Obama's only response was , "Where is your birth certificate?"



Dude you are a enigma.

Galifianaki went deeper wanting to know why Obama would want his son to play basketball out of fear of growing up to being a big dork like him.  Obama's quick response was , "ask my wife if you think I am a dork"

Do we think you are a dork?


When Galifianikis asked if he was here to plug something, Obama quickly fired back with , "Yeah have you heard of the Affordable Health Care Act?" .  Galifianakis chuckled and said , "Yeah I heard , that's the thing that doesn't work"


If the healthcare system is already broke, break it in some more and be sure to spread a little on the side for the rest of you and your crooked friends.

However, Obama is quite adamant on how the Affordable Care Act is so cool that young kids can be able to afford a health care plan for the same price as paying a cell phone bill


NAW....I still don't get you.  But....OK!

You can view the rest of this travesty here




CHARLIE SHEEN VS ANGER MANAGEMENT CAST

Apparently Charlie Seen has gone MIA for the last several days on the set of Anger Management


Hmm gee, I wonder why.  Possible reasons include:

#1. BOOBS

#2 - COKE


#3 - SNIFFING COKE ON BOOBS


Honestly, is there anyone in the Porn Animal Kingdom he hasn't bedded yet? 


Well while Charlie Sheen is busy perfecting the world's best orgasm his absence has forced Lionsgate Production to push back production of Anger Management farther than expected


Possible stand-ins for Charlie Sheen could include:

Mercer Morrision



and Balthazar Getty

Charlie Sheen's publicist, Jeff Ballard, denies that the show had even had to shoot around the actor , "We did not shoot last week because another member of the cast was sick. Charlie is always ready , willing, and able to shoot Anger Management and looks forward to returning".


However, let's not forget that Charlie Sheen has dealt with substance abuse problems and was famously fired from Two and Half Men .  The absence has left many study executive if we can even perform up to 100 episodes of television.

Performing up to par on set these days....probably no.  However, achieving the highest score in sexual pole position that's a DEFINITE YES!


Many of the cast members complain of his erratic behavior which could be due to recent health issues involving a vocal cord problem.

Possible reasons for the vocal cord could include


SHOUTING OUT AT THE DEVIL ONCE TOO MANY TIMES also known as a SORE-GASM

However, this isn't the first time Charlie has had a scrap or two with the Anger Management cast. Actress Selma Blair, who played Charlie Sheen's love interest was dismissed from the show in which Sheen called her a "c**t".  The two believe to have had a failing out due to Blair questioning Sheen's work ethic.

A work ethic that includes banging on the drum all day


COME ON EVERYONE YOU KNOW THE WORDS....SING ALONG!





There is a lot RIDING and I mean RIDING on Sheen's involvement and once Charlie Sheen is done riding the mechanical bull  he should realize the show is expected to earn close $350 million to $500 million in generate revenue.  That is not including the extra $800 million dollars it will  generate from licensing fees, international sales, and syndication.

NOT BAD for someone whom after being fired by  CBS still roams the streets of Hollywood with a suitcase full of porn and cocaine; believing he is "winning". 

BECAUSE AFTER ALL....



HE"S WILD THING! 


Monday, March 10, 2014

GAWKER.COM VS QUENTIN TARANTINO

Apparently Gawker.com has been sniffing in Mr. Pink's private sock drawer way too many times and secretly got a hold of Tarantino's unfinished script titled Hateful Eight





The Gawker.com spokesperson had this to say


"Aww....well I wasn't going to do nothing wrong"

Tarantino is now loaded up and his guns are a blazing as he prepares to sue Gawker for Copyright Infringement in claiming the website blog obtained the unauthorized 146 page titled "Here is the leaked script to Quentin Tarantino's Hateful Eight Script"


INSERT COIN for Free Kick Me shot. 

Apparently being the first website to publicly loot all filmmaker's innermost treasures means more to Gawker.com that they would publicly risk finanical suicide in the process

Tarantino's Response 
http://youtu.be/u7ER_q0B1-I?t=3m14s

The Fate of Gawker.com (OOOH, NO!)
http://youtu.be/z2jPCQbl0Lc?t=2s

That's like slitting your own wrist the Godfather way







"AYE!" 


However in Gawker's defense they claim that merely reading a screenplay is by no means a direct copyright infringing act


Awww....you guys sniffing old news print or something.  



Let's not forget who the real cat burglars are



Wait...that's not all.  In a effort to make Gawker.com look like computer literate fools , Tarantino's lawyers claimed not only did they post the script but encourage online viewers to download it with direct links. 


Gawker.com's defense:



"You have no proof ...they are incapable of saving anything online"

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT"

IF ANYTHING...

They either CTRL C'D



Adobed





or CUT, COPY, and PASTED that ass 



AWWW..Gawker.com.  Not playing with a full computer literate deck are we.